I have failed. Luke is sick. As he sleeps bedside me in bed I send so much love into his beautiful 12 year old body. As he breathes through his mouth I notice blood on his teeth and braces from his dry cracked lips. His eyes are moving around under is delicate long lashed lids. He dreams. We just finished sleeping through a healing meditation. My sore throat started this morning. Luke’s started nine days ago. Today he will go to the doctor. Today I have failed.

I am a healer. My medicine chest has only homeopathic remedies, vitamins, some essential oils, and my connection to spirit. I take great pride in taking care of my people. My kids and I have not been to the doctor in years—maybe five or six or seven (I’ll find out for certain in a couple of hours). I brag about that because I’m hella proud. This time is different.

Sore throat, sniffles? Homeopathic Belladonna under the tongue a few times a day usually takes care of things. That and some alkalizing vitamin C and a probiotic. Cough? Add in homeopathic Arsenicum album. It’s hanging on for a few days? Add in Mercurius solubilis.  Cut back on sugar intake. Get lots of sleep. Do some cupping. Along with mom’s qigong healing. All is good. What? It’s still hanging on and your ear hurts? Enter Berberis Formula. These capsules are like a natural antibiotic. Claire’s tendency is for things to hang around in her sinuses, but the Berberis seems to be working.

Add in a trip to the dentist (when they were little my kids would get sick after a trip to the dentist: my naturopath warned me this could happen) and a couple of days of skiing (I know, this wasn’t helpful, but it was already planned). Cough worsens and drives us crazy. Hotel room = no one sleeps.  Ears are plugged off and on. Mountain Man now has it…look out for coughing, snorting, snoring, and grumpiness. Everyone is using up the Berberis, I don’t have enough…I don’t have the right remedies with me…

Back home from the mountains, Luke’s cough continues as Claire bounces into her world feeling better.  He sleeps lots. His ears bug him. His ears bug us because he can’t hear us nagging him to blow his nose. I am having nightmarish flashbacks to when he was little and was constantly sick and needed inhalers. This is a big story that I need to tell you about soon because it relates to how I became a healer.  More remedies and whatever else we can find gets poured into him. A couple of nights ago he wakes but is dreaming and I guide him back to his sweaty feverish bed and climb in with him. He asks for my help (as he pats his own back along with me). I ask him what he needs me to do. He says, “love me.” I do. So much.

Back to us here in my bed. He is moaning and twitching. The dream is playing with him. I want to play with him. The outside world of school, homework, work, yoga, and grocery shopping waits. I close the door tight against all of it. I want to help him. I feel it deeply. This morning I picked up the phone. Today I am thankful for doctors.

Love and light,

 

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