After many years of working with clients on various health issues, an underlying common theme is obvious: most women want to lose weight. But really, is this what they want? If we dig a little deeper, isn’t it true that we all just want to be happy?

Recently, I developed a program that includes weight loss. This program can be done from anywhere and embedded within it are emotional health exploration and mindfulness exercises along with food and lifestyle changes.  The program almost hoodwinks participants into thinking they are signing up to lose weight and adopt a healthier lifestyle—which they will—but actually, they are signing up for a program that challenges them to dig deeper into themselves; to look at how they view the world; to explore their relationships with others; to learn techniques to calm the mind: all of which takes them further into self-analysis.

Why am I trying to get them to look into the mental/emotional mirror?  I passionately believe that (for many of us) our physical appearance is the result of our thoughts, emotions, and experiences to date. Of course, I don’t mean our size or weight, specifically. 

What I am referring to is the way a woman carries herself, the sparkle in her eye, her ability to laugh, the energy she emits when in the presence of others, her self-confidence, and her open heart.

These qualities are directly related to her emotional and spiritual health, which in turn influence her physical health and appearance.

How did she get to become such a positive energetic force? I think it is because she climbed a mountain of crap (childhood, relationship, sometimes genetic, but mostly relational) and learned to accept things that she couldn’t change and deal with the things that she could. She had help!  Examples: she worked on changing her negative internal dialogue, stopped looking at what was wrong with herself and the world, and started looking at what was good and right. Now don’t think for a minute that this healthy, balanced, thoughtful, and insightful woman is always standing up straight on top of that mountain. No, she will slip down many, many times (crap is really slippery). And it is important to have those slippery moments to continually grow and develop; without them she would not be challenging herself and continuing on her journey.  But with her is a handbag full of great things she has learned and she can access these to help her climb back up again. She may even slide down to the very bottom of the crap pile once in a while, but if she can wipe some of the crap off, open her handbag, look inside, and see all the great accessories she can use in there, then she can climb up again, but maybe from another side this time.  Okay, I have taken the analogy far enough!

Bottom line: it is easier and more marketable to promote a weight loss program rather than a self-awareness program.

But I wonder what would happen if I stepped forward, climbed up my mountain a bit, and shouted out “Yo! We all need to get this. . . a healthy mind equals a healthy body and a healthy spirit!”

Self-awareness (along with a rockin’ spiritual connection) will pull you forward on a journey that will end up at your dreams. The best part about living your dreams is how you can positively affect so many other lives. Dieting and weight loss only, without addressing the crap pile, may get you looking good—but unless you ignite the spark within, your efforts are only realized externally.

Don’t we all just want to be happy?  Who cares how great you look if you are not happy? The package is not complete. I would love to see you climb to the top and and ignite your spark, and so would the universe.

How is your spark doing? Are you ready to climb and ignite it? Tell me about your physical-emotional connection? What has worked for you?